How to Lead When You’re Not Sure Who You Are Anymore

Leadership demands confidence, clarity, and direction. But what happens when those qualities feel out of reach—not because of the job, but because of something deeper?

Many leaders—seasoned executives, new managers, and rising professionals alike—quietly wrestle with the same inner question: “Who am I right now?”

Maybe you've climbed the ladder and realized the view isn't what you expected. Maybe you're in the middle of a career change, a life transition, or simply burned out. Your values seem blurred, your motivation is slipping, and you're leading on autopilot. You’re not alone—and you're not broken.

In fact, what you’re experiencing is often a crisis of identity—and that makes perfect sense. Because leadership isn’t just about what you do; it’s about who you are.

Why Identity Matters in Leadership

At Lacuna Leadership, we define this inner foundation as your sense of self—your understanding of your core values, purpose, awareness, agency, and grit. It’s the internal structure that stabilizes everything else: performance, communication, decision-making, and resilience.

When your sense of self is clear and strong, you lead with authenticity and purpose. When it’s unstable, even the most experienced leaders can feel lost, uncertain, or disconnected.

The good news? Your identity isn’t fixed—and rebuilding it is possible.

That’s where the Stability of Self Inventory (S2i) comes in.

The S2i: A Roadmap Back to Yourself

The S2i is a research-based assessment built specifically for leaders, coaches, and professionals who want to deepen self-awareness and build a more stable identity. Rather than boxing you into a category, the S2i gives you a mirror—and a map.

It explores your identity across three key domains:

1. Upward Self – Your Core Values, Meaning & Purpose, and Connection

   
   

   Why do you exist? What impact are you here to make?

2. Inward Self – Your Awareness and Openness to Learn

   
   

   Who are you becoming?

3. Outward Self – Your Agency and Grit

   
   

   How do you engage with the world around you?

These dimensions form the “shape” of your current identity. When they’re strong and balanced, you show up with resilience, clarity, and conviction—even in uncertain seasons.

5 Proven Steps to Reconnect with Your Sense of Self

If you’re unsure who you are anymore—or how to lead from where you are—start with these practical, S2i-informed steps:

1. Reflect on Your Core Values

When life or work shakes your identity, go back to what matters most. Ask:

• What values have guided my decisions when I felt most alive or fulfilled?

• What moments in my career have made me feel proud or at peace?

The S2i’s Core Values dimension helps you pinpoint and realign with your personal code. When you lead from your values, you lead with integrity—and people feel it.

2. Revisit Your Purpose

Losing sight of your “why” is common, especially in fast-paced or high-pressure environments. Use these prompts to recalibrate:

• What kind of impact do I want to have—on my team, family, or community?

• What makes my work feel meaningful?

The Meaning & Purpose component of the S2i helps you reconnect your daily actions with a broader mission.

3. Rebuild Awareness Through Feedback and Mindfulness

Self-awareness isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about paying attention. Start small:

• Journal for 5 minutes at the end of each day: What energized me? What drained me?

• Ask a trusted colleague: “How do you experience me as a leader?”

The S2i’s Awareness and Openness to Learn dimensions support a mindset of curiosity and honest reflection—critical for growth.

4. Take Small Acts of Agency

When you feel stuck, reclaim your agency by choosing small, purposeful actions:

• Say “yes” to something that scares you.

• Say “no” to something that no longer aligns with who you are.

The Agency dimension of the S2i reminds you that you have the power to shape your world—even when everything feels out of your hands.

5. Build Grit by Reframing the Struggle

When the journey feels long or heavy, grit helps you stay the course. Reflect on:

• A time you overcame something hard—what carried you through?

• How could this moment be building something in you, not just taking from you?

The S2i’s Grit component emphasizes perseverance fueled by purpose—not pressure.

Leadership Doesn’t Require Perfection—It Requires Presence

The leaders who truly make an impact aren’t the ones who have it all figured out. They’re the ones who keep showing up—with honesty, humility, and a willingness to grow.

If you’re in a season of uncertainty, don’t push through blindly. Pause. Reflect. Rebuild.

Let the S2i guide you.

Ready to Lead from a Stronger Sense of Self?

The Stability of Self Inventory (S2i) is available now at www.lacunaleadership.com. Whether you’re an executive, a coach, or simply a professional seeking clarity, this tool will give you the insights and structure to lead with more authenticity, resilience, and impact.

Because leadership doesn’t begin with a title.It begins with knowing who you are.